Brain Scans, Science Bros, and Yeerk Invasions!

Today I participated in a study down at the Princeton campus. A friend and I were placed, side by side and facing each other, in one MRI tube. The experience was interesting, bizarre, and totally not what I expected. My friend and I are now Science Bros. :D An hour and a half in close quarters, with machines beeping and knocking all around you, how can we not be?!

But, yeah, I had a great time. Plus, I was able to see the inside of mah brain! Good news: No anomalies! I always wondered about that sort of thing, since I go to a doctor, erm, never. Also cool: I have a fairly flat top of head (especially compared to my super-rounded-at-the-top Science Bro!) which I attribute to many an hour spent in headstands as an elementary and middle school student. I kid you not: this is what I did for fun some summer days, and during breaks at cheerleading practice.

thehostIn other news, I have less than two weeks until I have to give money to the Stephanie Meyer movie “The Host“. Uuuugh. Some serious grovelling to my taste-buds will certainly be in order.

On the one hand, if you’ve been listening to the Papercuts Podcast, you’ll know I’m so very excited to see “Yeerk Invasion: the Movie“. On the other hand, I’ve heard about the “romance plot”. On the other other hand, I only watched Twilight because it was RiffTrax’d. …I think I’m doomed.

I wonder if another MRI after the movie would show some serious changes in my brain patterns? Damn Yeerks.

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My Broken Writing Bones

My crappy little phone’s camera isn’t very good. It’s especially not good at taking pictures in low-light. If it was, I would show you a picture of a sticker I keep on the side of my computer where I can see it out of the corner of my eye. Instead, I’ll show you this picture, because it’s the same words only looks nicer.

your story matters pic

Just that. Just that simple. “Your Story Matters.” I really need that when I’m struggling. I remember how prolific I was five and ten years ago. I worry that being healthier has made me less interesting; that focusing on my health and my loved ones takes away time I could be writing.

But then I remember how, when I had all the time in the world, I didn’t use it well. I wrote, sure. But I also angsted and obsessed and wallowed in a muddy bath of envy and schadenfreude. When I couldn’t take it anymore, when I had tried down to the bone and my brain was fritzing and my fortitude was sapped, I stepped away. I couldn’t keep clawing at something that left me hurt and fatigued.

I spent time trying other hobbies and jobs (tarot reading, performing, directing) to see if there was anything else I enjoyed as much. I learned a lot about my dreams, strengths, weaknesses. I cleared my head and breathed deeply. Though I missed writing, the energizing parts, I had spent so long afraid of stepping back. What if I had nothing left to say and looked like a fool? Maybe there were a finite amount of words in a person. Could I go back to sharing words and stories with others long after I’d set them down, when for so long I kept everything to myself?

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been writing and editing. It’s felt good. Difficult, though, like building back muscle strength after a broken bone: it won’t heal properly if I don’t work past the pain. It’s good for me and I need it.

My story matters. Even if it’s silly and fluffy, even if it’s dark and gut-wrenching to get through writing, it matters.

It matters to me.

Today, if you’re trying to write and you’re worried that you’re not “good enough”? Well, remember: Your. Story. Matters. It really does. Don’t write to be published; don’t try to get published to be a best-seller. Write because it matters to you… If you do that, then whoever you do decide to share it with will feel how much emotion and care you put into every word. :)

To Do List – March 2012

My To Do List has been working out nicely! Here’s March’s…

On the Blog

100 Word Reviews:
A Hat Full of Sky
Fallen Angels
Token of Darkness

Today in YA History:
I have two scheduled this month, so let’s see if I can get them out there!

Other:
PRETTY AMY cover reveal on March 5th! – totally done!
Eagerly await author interview for EDENBROOKE, on March 28th!

Off the Blog

YA Lit Mag:
Gather cover images and technical info for up-coming May/June books
Contact authors about interviews for May/June
Finish creating April author interviews
Possibly figure out the contests for ARC and swag giveaways?

Personal Writing:
Re-write and edit chs 4, 5, 6 on my WIP. (At this rate, I’ll be done by… next February. Ah well!)

—–

And a big thank you to all of you who have been reading, commenting on, and liking the 100 Word reviews. I appreciate it greatly! I hope you have found some fun new books to read, as well!

I will be gone for a convention starting next week, plus my part-time job is finally in need of some help, so I expect March to be a slow month. With all the To Do’s I have planned, though, it’s sure to be a fun one! :D

To Do List – February 2012

January’s To Do List was helpful. Let’s do it again.

On the Blog:

100 Word Review: The Girl in the Steel Corset – check!
100 Word Review: The Princess of the Midnight Ball – check!
100 Word Review: guest post “Tithe”, schedule and gather book’s technical info – check!
100 Word Review: How It Ends – check!

Today in YA History – try for one a week! – Two written and scheduled! Not many this month or March…

Leftover from January: “I should probably also make a post about the Jay Asher and Carolyn Mackler book event I attended last night, as it was quite pleasant!” Would feel better about this if I had a camera and thus pictures of the event. – probably not happening at this point…

Possibly write an article? Not sure what to write about. So: brainstorm ideas on a writing article! ^_^ – nothing interesting to say that isn’t said more succinctly elsewhere, for the moment!

Off the Blog:

Gather cover images and technical info for up-coming April-August books for the YA Magazine. – April is done! Taking a brief break on that to focus on the next item… – check!

Contact authors about interviews for April, May, June for YA Magazine. I have a few especially in mind, who have books I am excited about! – check!

Eagerly await the ARC I need to read, create interview for that author, and start calming down about how excited I am to be included on her blog tour late next month! ^_^ Also, find out when I can announce that Mysterious Unannounced Author will be here…. Hmmmmm.

Finishing the 3rd chapter edit on my WIP. – In progress! Half-way done. Finally hit this Narrator’s core, I think. – check!

Keep going, 2012… You’re not bad looking! :D

Why Blog?

    Every survivor needs a life-jacket. This blog is mine. I’ll tell you why.

    In May of 2011, after months of working myself into exhaustion over a several-years-in-the-making project (which crashed, hard, and took me as it’s tithe so that others might still have fun), I suffered a nervous breakdown, a major depressive episode, and I admit with a heavy heart that I contemplated suicide. I am here today, surviving, because of the love of those few closest to me, who saw me through the worst of the mind-numbing emptiness and doubt. (Thank you JM, LJ, TP, SM, MJ, and JH.)

    Through returning heavily to my storytelling (and creating this blog), I have started the long path to recovery. To loving myself again. To trusting that I can do something and not see it completely shattered. This blog is a project that no one can hurt me with. Even if recovery ends up temporary, I have a duty to myself to get better emotionally and physically.

    Just by having you (yes, you!) here and reading, that is helping. I am so happy to bring you something light and fun, especially in the field of Young Adult Literature (which I am intensely passionate about!) If you have enjoyed your time on my page, please… do not hesitate to let me know! You don’t know how much it might mean to me. :)

    Thank you so much for visiting!