My crappy little phone’s camera isn’t very good. It’s especially not good at taking pictures in low-light. If it was, I would show you a picture of a sticker I keep on the side of my computer where I can see it out of the corner of my eye. Instead, I’ll show you this picture, because it’s the same words only looks nicer.
Just that. Just that simple. “Your Story Matters.” I really need that when I’m struggling. I remember how prolific I was five and ten years ago. I worry that being healthier has made me less interesting; that focusing on my health and my loved ones takes away time I could be writing.
But then I remember how, when I had all the time in the world, I didn’t use it well. I wrote, sure. But I also angsted and obsessed and wallowed in a muddy bath of envy and schadenfreude. When I couldn’t take it anymore, when I had tried down to the bone and my brain was fritzing and my fortitude was sapped, I stepped away. I couldn’t keep clawing at something that left me hurt and fatigued.
I spent time trying other hobbies and jobs (tarot reading, performing, directing) to see if there was anything else I enjoyed as much. I learned a lot about my dreams, strengths, weaknesses. I cleared my head and breathed deeply. Though I missed writing, the energizing parts, I had spent so long afraid of stepping back. What if I had nothing left to say and looked like a fool? Maybe there were a finite amount of words in a person. Could I go back to sharing words and stories with others long after I’d set them down, when for so long I kept everything to myself?
Over the past few weeks, I’ve been writing and editing. It’s felt good. Difficult, though, like building back muscle strength after a broken bone: it won’t heal properly if I don’t work past the pain. It’s good for me and I need it.
My story matters. Even if it’s silly and fluffy, even if it’s dark and gut-wrenching to get through writing, it matters.
It matters to me.
Today, if you’re trying to write and you’re worried that you’re not “good enough”? Well, remember: Your. Story. Matters. It really does. Don’t write to be published; don’t try to get published to be a best-seller. Write because it matters to you… If you do that, then whoever you do decide to share it with will feel how much emotion and care you put into every word. :)